Unfair to all. Especially Deanna.

It just… surfaces sometimes. A moment, a quiet space, and suddenly, Deanna is just… there. Not physically, of course. But the feeling of her. The absence of her.

Unfair. It's a word that comes inadequate, almost. Too simple for what it really is. But it’s the closest thing, isn’t it? To capturing the heart of it. The unfairness. Years pass. So many years now. But that word… it still resonates. It still feels true, deep down.

It was profoundly unfair to her. Deanna. Eighteen years. Imagine the span of it. Eighteen years just beginning to unfold. All the life she had in her, the person she was becoming, the potential… it was immense. Eighteen years is barely a beginning. And it was just… stopped. Taken. It’s a theft, really. An irreplaceable loss. Unfair doesn’t even begin to cover it, but… it’s the closest we get to the truth of it, maybe. She deserved… a chance. A whole life. And that was denied.

And then you see how the unfairness ripples outward. To Mom and Dad. That kind of loss… it changes them, fundamentally. It’s a wound that doesn’t heal, not really. You just learn to live with it. Her friends, too. You hear echoes of it sometimes, even now. “I miss her,” someone will say. Years later. And you realize… yeah. It's unfair for all of us who loved her. Who were meant to have her in our lives. To carry this absence, this… permanent gap.

Unfair to me. Her older brother. Deanna. We were siblings. That bond… it’s a whole world in itself. Shared jokes, shared history, those unspoken understandings. Growing up together, knowing you’d always have each other. That was just… assumed, wasn’t it? And then, suddenly, that future we both imagined, just… gone. Unfairly erased. All those shared years… unlived. Unrealized. It's more than just sad. It's… unjust.

“Unfair to all. Especially Deanna.” Because while we carry the weight of it, the memory, the grief… she's the one who truly lost everything. She’s the one who was denied the chance to even have a life to live. And when you think about that, the sheer scale of that loss, the emptiness where her life should be… yeah. "Unfair" doesn't feel like enough. But it's still the word that echoes, isn't it? Unfair. And it’s a feeling that, I think, will always be there.

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